I wanted to apologize but didn’t know how-TESTIMONY FROM EMPOWER WORKSHOP

I am Munyensanga Jean Damascene, live in Muhanga District, I’m a former genocide perpetrator and one of the Empower Workshop participants (from March 19th to 27th, 2024)

During the genocide, I participated in killing many people, among other relatives from the families of two women who were here in the workshop. When the genocide was stopped, I was arrested and put in prison, where I spent 11 years. While in prison, I had time to reflect on what I did and realized how I was so cruel. After being released, before going home, I had to first join the solidarity camp (ingando), where the officials taught me how to behave when I returned to the community. The teachings from the camp helped me a bit, as I was able to come back home, but my heart did not rest as the survivors stayed next to my door. When I saw the difficult life those survivors were passing through, I always remembered that the brethren we killed had been our friends, good neighbors to me, and we even used to share with them everything like beer, salt, and foodstuffs before the genocide atrocities. This made me feel ashamed and guilty for my wrongdoings. Now, with a sincere heart, I stand on my feet and apologize to the brothers and sisters of the victims who survived. Today, I’m so blessed because two of them are sitting here in the room. As they had forgiven me during Gacaca Court but I was always wondering if that forgiveness was genuine and came from the bottom of their hearts. Because of that fear, when I could meet anyone from their family even if I drank, I instantly felt sober, and all images to remind me of how I gravely hurt them came back to my mind. But when I came here and followed these helpful teachings, all the burdens that bound my heart started decreasing from my heart/mind, and I am able to understand that their suffering stemmed from my wrongdoings. I realized the huge loss I caused them, and I found that the forgiveness they had granted me before was not enough, as I was not as remorseful as I am today. Fortunately, I met them here and we took those teachings together. I openly asked them for forgiveness in my small group. I repeat again and again now: Please forgive me for my offenses, and it will never happen again.

Scholastique and Chantal were in the room, they stood up with smiles on their faces and joined Jean Damascene in front of the group. They hug each other as a sign of forgiveness, unity, and resilience. Both survivors pronounced roundly, “Jean Damascene, you’re forgiven now.” Now, they look forward to rebuilding their relationship, restoring trust, taking care of each other, and extending the love story to their children and other family members, as well as doing economic activities together.